Welcome

There's so much to life! I write about what's in my heart, my mind, about my hopes, my dreams, and struggles. As the years have passed by I've grown in so many directions, recording some of them here. This Online Journal or Blog contains little parts of me. I hope you enjoy your read and contact me if you'd like, no obscenities please!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARINE CORPS!



I found this picture and thought it was the cutest thing....yeah, so cute, a bulldog holding a grenade...what's happened to me??? hehehe

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL THE MARINES OUT THERE! OOH-RAH!

Monday, November 9, 2009

From “Up in the Morning with the New York sun” to “Up in the morning with the Puerto Rico Sun”

On Saturday I went to a poolee function with the Marines, at the advice of Sgt. Huge! And Sgt. PR-German, they advised me there was going to be a Major there, the only Active duty Major in the Marine Corps who was born and raised in Puerto Rico (Guayama to be exact - this is a city at the south of the Island, for those of you who aren’t familiar with it), he was going to come home and see how his fellow Puerto Ricans were doing with their training. I got nervous of course, this is a Major we’re talking about here, he’s not only a high ranking officer, he’s the only active duty Puerto Rican officer of the Marine Corps, HE IS VERY DEMANDING, and with good reason.

So, Saturday morning, I wake up, with the “Hung up” song by Madonna, for some reason it’s in my dream and I’m with it for the entire day. I get to the function and there’s tons of kids there, there was one girl there, she had the official “poolee t-shirt“,(a blue shirt that’s a poly-blend, has the Eagle, Globe and Anchor also known as the EGA, in the front left side of the shirt, right above your pectoral area, in the back it reads in red capital letters MARINES) I had the gray “applicant t-shirt” that aptly says “Pain is weakness leaving the body” and a faded EGA on the front left side, (I love this shirt btw). For some time there we are the only two girls, among all those Amazonian boys that are “sounding off” at about 6:30am in the basement of a mall in Puerto Rico. At 7am, three more girls show up, and I’m happy, I’m not going to be one of two, I’m going to be one of 5 there.

The females ranging from ages 17 to 23 are there, they are all talking about college and how they’re not too sure if they want to stop going to college to enlist or finish and so on. The youngest one has all the confidence in the world, one of those kids who say they do this and that and the second and the third, but when it comes down to performance level they fall short. Yeah, she was one of those. So, after filling out some paperwork and me making some jokes about the paperwork (it was a waiver of responsibility that was signed, lifting the Marine Corps of any injury that I would attain, should it happen, when I was running around Ft. Buchannan, I joked and said to Sgt. PR-German “but it’s your fault I’ll be running!”) we waited, and waited, for Sgt. Toughguy to finish talking about what he found online, something about some Airmen saying their Basic Training was more intense than that of the Marine Corps, and how the video was sent to be taken down by their C.O. at the Pentagon (I actually thing this story was funny, but really long) we headed out to Ft. Buchanan, where we were greeted with looks of “WTF?” by a group of Navy sailors who were practicing their own PT session. As soon as we hit the deck (floor, ground) we got into formation and began the formal PT session that is done every second Saturday of the month, this time with more resilience, since the Major was there and we wanted to impress.

So, we all fell into formation and I was in the back, being an applicant among poolees meant I was to fall behind the poolees and not with them, they have a higher “ranking” with the Corps than I do. I fell behind them in a straight line along with all the other girls, who were standing to my left and right. They looked over at me to see how they should stand and held their shoulders back to emulate the perfect form of a Marine, something I learned by looking at the pictures and by my father teaching me.

We begin our work outs after the former greetings, first off, is pull ups for the boys, dead hang for the girls, minimum requirement for the girls to stay hanging there is 12seconds. I’m on the back of a line that has about 5 boys, all the girls are pulled to one line by Gunny. Awesomeness and we are taken to the lower pull up bar, so it would be easier for us to just climb up there, since all the females present seem to be vertically challenged. First one up, second, third, Me, fourth, fifth, sixth. They all hung on for as long as they could. Some complained they were tired from working the night before, all I really cared was how I hung on to dear life and concentrated on my breath, it worked, I stood there for 26 seconds, before loosing grip at a comment that flew by my mind. That’s 10 seconds longer than the last time.

Next up: crunches, Marine Corps style!!!! Ok, so all the females are together, again, since we even ourselves out we are to hold each others legs for this part. We begin, I am holding a girls legs, I’m supposed to sit on her feet to make sure she’s doesn’t use her feet to support her crunches, but since this girl seems to be as heavy as one of my legs I didn’t think it was fair for me to plant my significantly larger ass on her feet. So, I’m sitting on the ground, my legs are around her and I have to hold her knees with my arms, wrapping my arms underneath her knees, again, to prevent support. “10 seconds!!! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, GO!!!” she starts, I count, I tell her to breath, tell her to keep on going, we have Sgt.’s coming around us making sure our forms are perfect, that we’re not “cheating” they make sure she’s not lifting her arms from her torso as she does her crunches, she’s fine, they leave, they come around again, she’s tired, it’s 50 for her, I tell her to keep on going the 10 second mark has been sounded off, she continues, I can see the pain in her face, she’s getting sloppy, I tell her, keep on going, keep on going, she does, she reaches 53, she did good. It’s my turn, I tell her to sit on my legs, I bring my feet close to my bottom, I tell her how to hold my legs, she follows directions nicely, again “10 SECONDS” the countdown begins, here I am, breathing, “GO!!!” I go off, with a bang, 1, 2, and I keep on going, I hear the girl next to me counting, and I can’t let her go a higher number than me, damned it, I’ve been doing P90X I should kick ass, I keep on going, the Sgt.’s come by, they see my form, they don’t correct me, they go away, I keep on crunching, the girl is counting, she’s amazed at me, looking at me as if I were a machine, I keep going, then I start feeling it, I made the mistake of laying flat on the ground, my stomach stretched completely and there it was, the sting of crunches hitting me right where it’s supposed to, then I hear it, the 10 second remaining sound off, an Sgt. Comes over “YOU REST WHEN YOU DIE!!!!” I pull up, there it was the second wind, 1, 2, 3 “STOP!!!!!” my total 73 crunches, good stuff.

Then it’s the running, we were ordered to go into formation once more, not breaking it to slowly jog toward the start line. Slowly we went there, Cadencing our way to the start line and I was in the back with my fellow cruncher “Tinkerbell” she didn’t know what was going on so she followed my lead, I would very quietly explain to her what was going on. We reached the start line, Gunny Awesomeness ordered all the girls to come to the front and the boys to go in the back, there it was, all six girls in the front, since we were so tiny, we had to be in the front, to prevent us from being run over, it didn’t really work, since I almost got run over anyway by some Amazonian boys anyway. The mark, set go! We start off good, the taller boys go off, running and running with their long legs, and there they are, off! I am here, pacing, waiting for me to just really warm up, the hot sun is beaming on my face, and this shirt, that’s 100% cotton is making me feel like I’m boiling, boiling, I didn’t know a shirt could be so heavy! Anyway, all of a sudden, I hear it, “time goes by, so slowly” in my head, I start signing, I had left two girls behind, or so I thought, and they caught up with me, they’re panting, I’m breathing normally, I tell them to concentrate on their breath, “you can do it” “let’s go, let’s go, let’s go” I start signing, they’re motivated, we get to the check point where Sgt. Huge! Is standing with his stop watch “6:30!” he sounds off, and I say in my mind, “what?!!” right before I start hauling ass to the finish line, I run around him and leave the girls behind, I see Sgt. Toughguy screaming at two of his recruits “THERE’S A GIRL THAT’S COMING RIGHT BEHIND YOU, DON’T LET HER PASS YOU, DON’T LET HER PASS YOU!!!!” ha! I passed him, he was eating my DUST! Ha! Then I approach another boy, he’s a little chunky, and he’s jog-walking, the Major is right in front of him, there is, looking at him and running backwards telling the boy “if you want to be a Marine you have to impress me and you’re NOT doing that right now” I hauled ass harder, leaving the boy and the Major to eat my dust too, then I really start feeling it in my feet, the toes, they’re curling in my shoes, I lose the grip, the sun is hotter, telling me “hey was sup???!!” as it’s smacking the crap out of my face, I pant, I sweat, and I see another chunky boy up ahead, I pass him, he gets upset, later on, up the hill, he passes me, I pass him again, then I get to the finish line “14:14!” He and I make the same time. I scream out “I need some water!” a boy hands over his unfinished water bottle before I hit someone in the face for it, he smiles as I thank him, then I turn around the Major was right there “GOOD EFFORT!!” and gave me a high five A HIGH FIVE!!! Then I realized, I was the first girl to pass the finish line, yep, I was the first girl to pass the finish line and I’m the oldest one there, how hot is that!?

Cadencing: “UP IN THE MORNING WITH THE PUERTO RICO SUN, GONNA RUN ALL DAY ‘TILL THE RUNNING’S DONE! MY CORPS, YOUR CORPS, THE MARINE CORPS! OOH-RAH”

Sunday, October 25, 2009

The Girls Come Marching Home

At the beginning of this month, I bought a book, this book was one of the few books that I've seen that shows that women are in the front lines in Iraq.

While I was shopping with Dad at the Army Base (Ft. Buchanan, PR), I went to the book section and looked around for an interesting book that I could read that didn't have any christian tone to it. Since everything now is about God here in PR, not that there's anything wrong with it,I'd just like to read a book about something different. I think I get enough about how wonderful God is at home, with the radio station my father always has on, and the fact that he's always telling me how wonderful He is, and giving me the jist of stories in the Bible, I didn't feel as if I should read about God as well.

I scoured the book section and then the cover of "The Girls Come Marching Home" called out to me, on the cover, there are three U.S. Marines, who so happened to be female along with a Navy Nurse (which I found out to be so when I read the book) I skimmed the book to see what the stories were about, and I knew I had to have it.

As soon as I got home I opened it to start reading about the stories of these women, who go to war, and go through the same thing our male Soldiers, Marines, Sailors, Airmen and even Coast Guardsmen go through. These were women who go out there and fight the war with as much sweat and effort as any man would, maybe with even more determination than men, maybe even against more odds than men do. It was encouraging.

I knew, at some point, that I'd be going to the front lines, should I be asked to go to Afghanistan. What I didn't know was what I would may be facing. This book gave me the insight of what I may be going through once I'm a Marine. The author, Kirsten Holmstedt, is also the author of another book that's critically acclaimed "Band of Sisters" funnily enough, the first book she wrote: Band of Sisters was featured as an article in a magazine, I believe was Military Now or something like that, about a year ago, which I read then, the same picture that is on the cover of Band is the same picture that was featured on the article. I was proud to see women fighting the war that most if not all people think women don't go to. I was more proud to know they didn't care about what people thought about them, they did what they wanted to do and didn't back down from their dreams.

I've heard stories about how women and men can't fight in the war together, because men would be distracted and worried about women 20 times more than if they'd be fighting with another male by their side, they'd be worried about keeping the woman safe. I think what is Basic Training good for a woman then, if we're going to be seen as the weaker sex anyway? I guess Basic Training is good to show those men that us "wiminz" can shoot rifles, lead and be Soldiers, Marines, Sailors and Airmen. That we are as good, and sometimes even better than, any other male and would fight as efficiently beside any counterpart, regardless of sex and race.

Inspiring stories keep me motivated to pull through. Although I've been having troubles with my getting into the Marines, I know it will happen, and what I'm going through now is just a test of my strength, as well as making me physically and mentally strong...I guess I wasn't ready when I thought I was, and this is God's way of showing me that I need a little more time....I just have to keep on reading, working and it will all come to a great result.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I have the power

Today, I woke up at around 4am, I went with my Dad to the VA to see what he goes through when he goes to his appointments, because, at some point, I'll be doing the same. We got there incredibly early, needless to say, it was still dark out. I knew there were going to be people at the place, because when one person has the idea to do something I'm sure others will have the same idea. We got there, it was packed, numbers in the 70's to get your "tests" done!

We waited hours, hours for everyone to be called, they were calling by 10's and Dad's number was 75, it's effective. Sitting in the waiting room, I read two chapters of my current book, and smelled an old man who apparently doesn't shake too well after urinating...gross! I heard stories of the war, debates of the current Island politics among many other nuances. We went from the tests area to the psychiatric area, where Dad had an appointment at 11, we were there at 8. After breakfast (for me it was some crazy boxed scrambled egg, with a single toast and a small cup of coffee, Dad had 1/4 of a poppy muffin with a coffee) we went up there and I can't thank enough for a television in the waiting area.

I saw Vietnam war veterans and saw how they walked, their injuries gave them limps or canes, or permanent wheelchairs. Then there it was, two Female Veterans, I was glad to see they were there, but not so impressed by how they looked (please, am I to blame if I'd like them to look more like women instead of men with boobs????) anyway, one was the butchiest woman I've seen that is straight, she was there talking about her husband and how he "wooed" her with songs of Ruben Blades, the other one was a North American.

The North American, was, well, white, she was loud and you could tell in her Spanish she was not from Puerto Rico or any other Spanish speaking country. She mixed her English with Spanish and was talking so loud on her cell phone in the waiting area that specifically had "DO NOT USE CELL PHONES" around I wondered if she knew how to read, people were annoyed and also wondered what was her problem. It was funny to watch, hear and see the reactions.

While waiting I saw the show "It's me or the Dog" and I saw the funniest dog! the reaction he gets when he's denied cup-cakes! holy crap! I laughed, well, I still laugh, it was the most insane moment I've seen on television that wasn't a cartoon. ha! and then, when I was coming back, on the road, I see the most wonderful sight:



Then, when I get home, I see an email of a friend of mine who's helping me with finding some stuff out with the Marines and the news was confirming something I already heard from the Gunny here...also it was ensuring me of something, I have the power to get the job done, which I already knew, but was happy to hear from someone else...at a higher level - it's great

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Support

I've found it interesting how supportive people are here in Puerto Rico about my decision to enlist in the Marines. In New York City, any person who I bumped into had something negative to say, about enlisting, about the war, about the Marines, about the Army, about anything that had to do with any form of Military.

I would sometimes get a person or another, telling me that they were proud and amazed to find a person who dared doing something they didn't dare to do.

It's funny how here in PR people actually encourage others into joining the military...too bad the education level of most people is so bad that they haven't even finished High School nor have gotten their GED's....

Friday, October 9, 2009

Activity

For the past week I've been keeping an activity & diet journal, tracking down what I eat and do through out the day to monitor and motivate myself to keep on being active.

Today, I woke up early, to my new schedule, being home has caused me to sleep in for the past few months, waking up at 9:30a, 11:00a, these hours to me are not an option, granted I would stay up late, but what am I really getting out of it? Nothing. So I decided to get myself back on track to waking up at an early hour, early for a person who doesn't have to go to work, now I started waking up at 6:30a - 7:00a and start my day from there. Today, after waking up, brushing my teeth and stretching for a bit, I hit the road on my wonderful mountain bike. It's the hottest thing in I've owned, next to my laptop.

I hit the road for a half hour and worked up a good sweat, felt good as I rode my bike up the hill, down the hill, up the hill again, down the hill again all over and around the neighborhood, bumping into the professional cyclists who gave me a "hello nod" with a smile, I felt good being out there again, being active early in the morning. As I closed the biking session to come home and do some cardio (with the P90X workout program) I realized I've been doing really good the past couple of days, I've been running, and doing a complimentary work out, keeping track of my caloric intake to make sure I make weight requirement for the Corps.

Sitting in front of the television for the past month, not really working out like I was used to, and eating a little over what I got myself used to eating caused me to gain a few lbs. Along with the lack of motivation that I was going through. I put myself on track and feel great to be back!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Where was I?

I've been idle, thinking, feeling, looking, frustrated, sad. I've pushed myself really hard to continue the work out, running, to stay active, it's been really hard to do so when I lack motivation. I came back home to speed things up, then I found out I was going to leave in January because there's a complete Military entry delay with not just the Marines. I wanted to cry, I didn't really care about losing weight anymore and all I wanted to do was sit in front of the television and eat. Thinking if I was really meant to be doing this it shouldn't be that hard.

Then, I realized what I was doing, I was giving up, I was giving up a fight because I was frustrated. Aren't we meant to work really hard for the things we love? aren't we supposed to sweat blood and cry tears for the things that really deserve it? My future deserves for me to do put that extra effort in.

Being without a job, having to move back home because I didn't have an apartment left in New York, among other things brought me into a frustrated state that I didn't even want to deal with, all I wanted to do was sit down in front of the television and eat. Thank God for my subconscious pushing me to go running and working out every day!

I looked for work online, for something simple enough that I didn't have to put too many hours in and still get a few bucks, and I found something that suits me, I got a job with a company writing articles and I get paid for it. Once the money started flowing in my mood began to change, I was feeling a bit better. If things get rough, I have to get stronger to conquer to situation, I have to work harder to get to that point of victory, not give up. After realizing that what was going on was something completely out of my control I came to terms with my feelings and let them go, I am back to where I belong, focused and ready to take charge of my path, my life, my future.